Today is the third consecutive day that I have been ill with something entirely different from the day before. Two days ago, I accidentally ingested chili from my takeout food. Before even finishing my sandwich, my throat and sinuses had begun to swell. I quickly grabbed my black seeds and took a good pinch. Still not feeling 100%, I decided to give my body another boost and take ½ teaspoon of black seed oil.
It is hard for a bystander or family member to fully understand or empathize what happens during an allergic reaction. For some, it might be an itch in the throat, or hives on the skin. For me, my lungs become heavy and it becomes hard to breath. My heart starts racing, like it is going to jump out from my chest. My bowels flush out. My throat tightens. My sinuses become swollen making it harder to breath.
Some reactions are worse than others. But for the most part, I can just take my black seeds and ride it out for 2-3 hours of not feeling 100%.
Yesterday, I decided to clean out the garden and so I began cutting down plants that were dying in preparation for the cold that was coming. My final task of taking all the plants and putting them in a brown yard bags, ignited an allergic reaction. The top of my hands became really itchy, my chest started to feel compressed, and my sinuses stuffed. Again, I ran to my black seed and waited it out for yet another 2-3 hours. This time, I was completely at a loss as to why I even had a reaction. Yes… there was a pepper plant in the garden, but I tried to steer clear of it.
Then this morning, I woke up to excruciating pain that had started late in the night, which made it difficult to sleep and even more difficult to wake up. This time, the pain was from adhesions from the 4 c-sections I have endured to bring my wonderful children into this world.
It is difficult to live with pain. It is extremely frustrating to not be able to do all the things I want and need to do in a day for my family and myself. This isn’t how life used to be, and I often hope and pray that my health will one day be fully restored.
But for now, I encounter many days a week where I’m not myself. Many days where I don’t have 100% of me, yet still need to give 110%.
Despite all that pain, all the discomfort and all the time that is lost due to these illnesses and allergic reactions, I feel incredibly blessed because of these illnesses.
Here’s why:
- And when I am ill, it is He who cures me (Ash-Shu’ara:80)
Every calamity I have ever faced has taught me more about Allah. With each calamity, I learn a new name or attribute of Allah that strengthens my eman and tawheed. When I was poor, I learned that He is Ar-Razzaq. When I fell ill, I learned that it is He alone that can cure me. - Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood). Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen. He has taught man that which he knew not. (Al-Alaq, 1-5)
My drive to find a cure for my allergic reactions from various foods, opened up a gateway of knowledge. I had no understanding of food, medicine, traditional healing, tibb an-nabawi prior to this except what I had learned in western public schools about modern medicine, food and nutrition. The more I am sick, the more I seek to learn to understand my body and how it is meant to function. The more I learn about our human creation, the more I am in awe of the Perfection of our Creator. The more I learn about the healing attributes of plants and foods, the more I begin to understand that Allah did not create anything is vain. - Narrated `Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5640, Book 75, Hadith 1)
It is comforting to know that I have hours and days of the week where sins are washing away because I am feeling ill. Whether it is a migraine, fever, abdominal pain from adhesions, or allergic reactions to foods I used to love; all of these things are a means for me to be cleansed of sin, which is great. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet Allah on the day of judgement free of sins because I suffered allergies in the spring, or asthma due to someone’s perfume or cologne.
“Ibn al-Qayyim said: Were it not that Allaah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities, they would transgress and overstep the mark. When Allaah wills good for His slaves, He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation, so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases, until He purifies and cleanses him, and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world, which is that of being a true slave of Allaah (‘uboodiyyah), and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter, which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him. (https://islamqa.info/en/35914)”
Illness does make day to day life just a little bit harder. It does take away from the pleasure and enjoyment of life. However, the knowledge I have gained, the herbs and medicines I am able to concoct with the guidance of Allah is far more beautiful and sweet for me to give up. My life is far richer and full of purpose after my allergies to peppers!